Goodbye Mum and Dad!

The Parents have left, and along with them it seems, a part of my heart has left too.

It's much harder saying goodbye to them this time around, I'm not sure why considering that we've had to say goodbye more times than I can remember ever since I left home for the first time more then 10 years ago. Although, I'm beginning to suspect a lot of it has to do with a brown hair, brown-eyed, 11-month-old, cheeky-faced boy. 

My parents LOVED spending time with Liam. They held him each time they could, cuddled him every morning, played with him every evening, and were simply amazing with the little one. And yes, it was definitely good to not have to be so hands on with the baby 24/7, to be able to sit back and relax knowing my son was in good hands, but it was even better to see them clearly enjoying each others' company and so in love with each other. The way my son's face lights up in a brilliant smile when he sees my parents and vice versa is something no money in the world can buy and fills my heart with the most delicious warmth.

I have lived away from my family for most of my adult life, but now that I have a son, I'm finding it harder and harder to be away from people who love us, who love him. And it saddens me that we'll only be able to see each other once or twice every year at most. My parents deserve to see their grandson more than that. And he in return deserves to have their love and affection in his life. But there's really nothing we can do to bring Germany and Malaysia any closer is there? 

We didn't really do much on my parents visit here. We visited Strasbourg, went to Baden-Baden a couple of times and headed to Heidelberg once, but we spent most of our time walking in Karlsruhe and hanging out at home - just enjoying each others' company - and it was lovely just like that. 

We shared wine every night, my amazing chef of a husband cooked us wonderful meals every evening, and we talked, or sat in silence in the living room each doing our own thing, taking turns to play with Liam, and it was fun and peaceful and happy. We didn't go out for fancy meals, we didn't travel far, nor did we do anything really touristy. But we were a family, and that was enough. 

But now life returns to normal, my parents have returned to their home 6000 miles away in Kuala Lumpur, and I have no idea when I'll see them next - and it breaks my heart a little. 

Already I miss my dad's easy smile and my mum's warmth. I miss hearing their voices, or seeing their excitement whenever Liam does something especially cute, which is practically every minute these days. God help me, but I'm a thirty year old woman missing her mummy and daddy...

... Because while they were here, even though our apartment is way too small for four adults and we had to sleep on a couch, even though we got on each other's nerves every once in awhile like families do, even though there was a lot of juggling of space and time and everyone's wants and needs, for two weeks it was the five of us, instead of the three of us. For two weeks I was a mum, but also someone's child. For two weeks life was just that much fuller.

I'll miss you mum and dad. 

Bis dann, Tschuess! 

We love you.